3-min daily practice. Connect to the safety and truth of the present moment with this simple yet powerful, daily presence practice. Return to the grace and support that is available to you right now. Take the next three minutes to get present with yourself.
“Your true home is in the here and the now. Life is available only in the present moment.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Anxiety, overwhelm, depression, worry, comparison, guilt, reaction, fear all come from our habit of living either in the past or worrying about a future we’re uncertain of.
Either we’re replaying the events of the past, feeling guilt or judging ourselves for some way we’ve been, or we’re worrying, making up stories about a future we’re uncertain of. Both habits take us out of the present moment. And the present moment is the only place where we have the potential to change how we feel about the past or how we can be in the future.
This powerfully simple presence practice reconnects us to now.
The first time I felt its power, I had returned to my little, one-bedroom apartment in Austin from an intimate 10-day retreat with my spiritual community on the northern round of the Big Island of Hawaii.
I’d woken up feeling incredibly heavy. As I tried to get myself up, the wet, weighted blanket of grief and depression kept flattening me back out onto my mattress on the bare floor.
I still hadn’t even unpacked my things since moving in. I hadn’t hung anything on the walls. This apartment wasn’t “my space.” It didn’t feel like me.
I was finally able to drag myself over to my little altar in the corner facing East, send off a prayer through tears asking for some support to guide me out of this place, and finally gather the energy to just get myself outside onto the Greenbelt with my soul hound, Lou, and do this practice until I couldn’t anymore.
So, that’s what I did.
I stepped out onto the trail and immediately began asking myself the question. Answering myself genuinely. On repeat. Staying with it. Staying with myself. Lightening as we worked our way down the canyon toward the rocky ledge overlooking Barton Creek.
Hunkered down low in some places, interacting with what was right there: leaves, stones, watching tiny beings going about their work, sunlight filtering through trees, the perfect breeze, brand new flowers opening up to the world. Here I was: middle of the week. Everyone’s at work. I am free. I am surrounded by astonishing beauty. I have the space to be with myself and be with Life right now.
And as I sat down on the limestone ledge with my hound dog, dangling my feet off toward the brimming Springtime creek and continuing this practice, a woman appeared from down the creekside trail with her scruffily white dog leading her.
She came and sat down beside me on the limestone. My initial feeling was a little hesitance at being in conversation with someone else with such a burden in my heart. Most people, I’d found, didn’t quite have the capacity to hold these kinds of things with the tenderness I was needing that day.
But as we talked, I felt a growing sense of awe and even hopefulness, thinking to myself, quite surprised, “Wow. I could really talk to this person.“
That person, Kristina Arnston, became my first Hakomi therapist all those years ago (2015).
The depth of the work we did together for the next three years inspired me to study the Hakomi method so I could offer others the same level of healing and space-holding she did for me. And it was a steady, supported pathway through the grief. Beyond the depression. Down and out of my head that day, into my body, into the present, and onto my unique path as a Hakomi practitioner.
So, if you didn’t already know, my dear, now is where our power is.
And this practice reconnects us to the powerful truth that we’re safe. We’re okay. We’re doing the best we can. We’re likely being supported in many small, seemingly insignificant ways that, together, can remind us of the grace and support that is always available to each and every one of us in any given moment.
Try it yourself. And then let me know what part of your power it reconnects you with today.
How to practice presence: a powerfully simple, portable 5-step daily presence practice
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Time needed: 3 minutes.
- Sit somewhere quietly where you won’t be disturbed too much.
Turn your focus inward by closing your eyes or softening your gaze toward the ground.
Choose a spot that feels easy, like a favorite spot in your home, in your yard, or at a local park.
Grab a chair or on a comfortable pillow or cushion on the floor. Or, find a patch of grass, a bit of earth, some leaves or fir needles, a stone, or a tree trunk to sit upon.
Let your body settle in that space.
(You can also do a walking version of this practice on a favorite trail or pathway.)
If you’re walking, move at a pace that lets you stay aware of your surroundings and your body.
- Ask yourself this question:
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What am I being offered right now? - Answer this question using everything present in the moment:
Your breath.The temperature.
A sound.
A sensation.
A thought.
An object within reach.
Your environment. - Then ask again:
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What am I being offered right now?
Keep asking and answering for a few minutes.
Each time, respond from your direct experience of this moment.
- Notice what happens when…
Notice what happens when you continue to ask yourself this question and answer.Notice what it feels like to stay here in the present moment with yourself and everything that is being offered you.
Notice what shifts, even a little.Stay as long as you need, continuing to ask and answer yourself, whether that’s three minutes or ten.
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What are the results of doing this simple presence practice?
A powerful sense of being alive and connected with something larger than yourself.
A feeling of being more supported than you ever imagined before the practice.
Energy to move into more effective action from the present.
Clarity about what feels good for you. Space to move more creatively in the direction you want to. And a sense of peace that you’re actually okay.
These are all potential outcomes I’ve experienced doing this presence practice.
What was it like for you?
Try it yourself. And then let me know what part of your power it reconnects you with.
How to practice presence every day
We’re estimated to make 35,000 decisions a day without any conscious thought.
Each second of the day, our unconscious is processing about 11 million bits of information (compare that to our conscious mind’s measly 40 bits)!
Practicing presence reconnects us with our unconscious. Now, why’s that important? Because our unconscious is:
- the back-seat driver of 95% of the decisions we make in a day.
- where our emotional and nervous system reactions come from.
- our operating system where 95% of our behaviors, habits, and routines emerge from.
- the source of our creativity.
- also the source of our intuition, instinct, and memory.
- the manager of physiological systems like our breathe, heart rate, blood pressure, digestion and metabolism (to name a few).
Being in connection with and learning to understand and guide this vast part of our awareness is crucial to navigating our lives with more presence, connection, and authenticity.
If you’re looking for support to make this kind of presence practice a conscious habit. Or need space to drop into mindfulness with a guide and finally listen to, understand, and move from your unconscious more consciously — that’s what I do in 1:1 sessions.
