Note that event times are in Central time (Chicago, USA)
Join Carolyn (Koa) Elder, Coach, Inner Realm Guide and Founder of Conscious Content and Kevin Brown, LPC of Austin Mindfulness Center for 40 minutes of building resonance—a simple communication format that allows sharing of one’s experience, reflective listening, being heard and gives others the opportunity to express their resonance with our experiences.
Building resonance with one another is a subtle, yet powerful way to:
connect with your sense of belonging to a larger group.
share the weight of any burdens you may be carrying.
understand that you’re not alone.
remind you that you don’t have to bear your burdens alone or in silence.
discover resources you didn’t know you had.
feel the truth of our shared experiences.
build resilience through collective relationships.
“Greater awareness and amplification of this level of connection between people and between groups and other, larger forces may help us find our way back to the knowledge and experience of our fundamental connections to one another and our environment, and enable us to make greater progress toward our common human goals than we have been able to do using idea exchange and analytic problem-solving alone.”
We’ll begin this virtual circle by feeling into the circle itself and briefly introducing ourselves as our essence—or spirit.
For example, “I am Name: courageous wise one.”
Or, “I am [one word].”
Briefly introduce building resonance format.
We will introduce the format for building resonance together (which will be displayed throughout the meeting as a visual guide) and facilitate the group through the process as those who feel called share their experience and we build resonance with each other.
Follow the themes as they arise and until they feel complete (time-permitting).
Finally, we’ll organically follow each theme (topic) until it feels complete with the group and/or a different version of the theme or a new theme is brought into the group.
Note: depending on attendance, themes may be limited by the total count of attendees. We estimate approximately ~3-10 themes may be shared per virtual circle.
Repeat.
We’ll repeat steps 1-3 above.
Note: depending on attendance, themes may be limited by the total count of attendees. We estimate approximately ~3-10 themes may be shared per virtual circle.
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Learn more about collective resonance
“Collective Resonance™ is a felt sense of energy, rhythm, or intuitive knowing that occurs in a group of human beings and positively affects the way they interact toward a positive purpose.
It is not created by human beings, rather, it emerges when they tap into the underlying unity, coherence, rhythm and flow of the universe. It can be felt as a physical level of connection, facilitated by vibrational exchange that operates constantly, whether or not we are communicating verbally or are even aware of its existence. It conforms to the laws of physics, among other things.
The word resonance means “re-sound”, which indicates a flow of vibration between two things, in this case two or more people. The word has been used in many contexts, such as in psychology where it connotes empathy, or in the spiritual realm where oneness or unity of things is implied. Building on these, the physically resonant aspects of group dynamics are explored by The Resonance Project™.
Greater awareness and amplification of this level of connection between people and between groups and other, larger forces may help us find our way back to the knowledge and experience of our fundamental connections to one another and our environment, and enable us to make greater progress toward our common human goals than we have been able to do using idea exchange and analytic problem-solving alone.”
3-min daily practice. Connect to the safety and truth of the present moment with this simple, yet powerful, daily presence practice. Return to the grace and support that is available to you right now. Take the next three minutes to get present with yourself.
“Your true home is in the here and the now. Life is available only in the present moment.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Anxiety, overwhelm, depression, worry, comparison, guilt, reaction, fear, they all come from our habit of living either in the past or worrying about a future we’re uncertain of.
Either we’re replaying the events of the past, feeling guilt or judging ourselves for some way we’ve been. Or, we’re worrying, making up stories about a future we’re uncertain of. Both habits take us out of the present moment. And, the present moment is the only place where we have the potential to change how we feel about the past, or how we will be in the future.
This powerfully simple presence practice reconnects us to now. And now is where our power is. This practice reconnects us to the powerful truth that we’re safe. We’re okay. We’re doing the best we can. We’re likely being supported in many small, seemingly insignificant ways that together can remind us of the grace and support that is always available to each and every one of us in any given moment.
Step-by-step daily presence practice
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Time needed: 3 minutes.
Sit somewhere quietly where you won’t be disturbed (too much).
I suggest sitting in your favorite spot in your home or in your yard or a local park (if it’s open to the public and you’re complying with your local social distancing requirements).
Settle your body by sitting in a chair or on a comfortable pillow or cushion on the floor. Or, find a patch of grass, some leaves, a stone or a tree trunk to sit upon.
Turn your focus inward by closing your eyes or having a gentle gaze toward the ground.
You can do a walking version of this practice too.
If you are in a space where you can walk while respecting social distancing to your fellow humans, this is a great way to practice presence.
Ask yourself this question:
When you’re ready, ask yourself either aloud or internally, whichever is most comfortable for you:
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What am I being offered right now?
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Answer this question using everything present in the current moment.
Using what’s available to you in the present moment, answer yourself.
Repeat the question:
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What am I being offered right now?
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Continue to ask the question and answer it again and again for the next few minutes. You can continue for as long as you’d like: from three to five to up to 10 minutes if you need it.
Answer yourself again, using another response that comes from your experience in the current moment.
Using what’s available to you in the present moment, answer yourself.
Notice what being in the present moment feels like.
Take note of what you learn as you continue to ask yourself this question and answer.
10-min guided meditation. Join Koa Elder for this brief meditation to ease your heart and spirit. Take the next 10 minutes for yourself. Slow down, feel where your heart is and what it needs right now.
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”
Rumi
The truth of your heart is that it is bigger and more vast than whatever you may be sensing, feeling emotionally, telling yourself or believing about yourself or others. Your heart is the seat of your spirit, from a Sahaja yoga perspective, and your spirit contains all the simple and complex parts of you—your essence. You don’t have to identify with any individual sensation, emotion, thought or story or belief you have—your heart and spirit can hold and carry them all.
Guided audio: heart mindfulness meditation
Note: You can choose to play in your browser (fastest) or listen on Soundcloud.
Step-by-step heart and spirit mindfulness meditation
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Time needed: 10 minutes.
Sit somewhere quietly where you won’t be disturbed (too much).
Settle your body by sitting in a chair or on a comfortable pillow or cushion on the floor. Turn your focus inward by closing your eyes or having a gentle gaze toward the floor.
Place your right hand over your heart.
Making physical contact with the heart focuses our attention and presence there so we can really check-in. Touch also connects us to ourselves and calms the nervous system.
Speak the following affirmations with sincerity to yourself.
When you’re ready, say these words either aloud or inside yourself, whichever is most comfortable for you:
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I am not just this body: these sensations and feelings, these emotions.
I am not just this mind: these thoughts, these stories, these judgments, these beliefs.
I am the pure spirit who contains them all. Who holds them.
I am not any one part. I contain all my parts.
And I am not defined by any one of them, but as the whole of me.
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Allow these words to land.
Take a few moments, however long you need, to really allow these words to land right where your hand is making contact with your heart. Take a few breaths to help yourself really receive these messages.
Take time to say anything else to your heart that it needs.
As you sit with your hand on your heart, sensations, emotions, thoughts may arise. You may become aware of what else your heart needs to hear right now. Speak it to yourself or aloud. And then allow it to land too. Let yourself receive the unique message that only you know your heart needs. Sit with this for as long as you like.
When you’re ready, slowly come back to the room.
Slowly open your eyes and move your body gently in whatever way feels comfortable for you. You can stretch or wiggle your toes and fingers, look around the room at objects to reorient yourself to the world.
With the change of season and the new reality that the coronavirus pandemic brings—we need to respond mindfully rather than react now more than ever.
What set you off as you watched the coronavirus transform from a new strain of virus passed animal-to-human somewhere across the globe? When did it really set in with you that this was real? A pandemic, officially. No longer something over there or far away. Maybe even in your hometown or neighborhood by now.
Was it the empty, picked-over shelves at your local grocery store?
Was it the flood of fear-inducing headlines, live video feeds from the WHO, CDC and newscasts of global health officials and scientists all telling you to not touch your face while they unconsciously touched their own? The directives to suddenly distance yourself from others. Cancel travel plans. Stay home. Self-quarantine. Better yet, don’t even go into work! Wait, will there be any work?
Was it your elderly parent(s), or neighbor or friend sharing how hard it was to get groceries or toilet paper, or any help amidst all the chaos?
“It’s how we respond to our fear and our sense of vulnerability, rather than reacting to it, that will define us and this extraordinary time for decades to come.”
While we’re in the midst of a growing pandemic, we’re also in the midst of a seasonal transition (from late Winter to Spring in the northern hemisphere). The combined vulnerability of the two puts us in touch with our own vulnerability and fear.
It’s how we respond mindfully to that fear and our sense of vulnerability, rather than reacting to it, that will define us and this extraordinary time for decades to come.
Using mindfulness, let’s explore how you can choose to respond in every moment rather than getting swept up with the tides of fear, vulnerability, reaction or panic; and how this powerful skill can support your relationships and guide your work in the world and your life.
Learning to habitually respond mindfully rather than react takes practice, self-awareness, intention and action. But first, let’s consider ways we’re collectively reacting or responding daily in our work and life, especially since the spread of COVID-19 escalated into a global pandemic.
Scenario 1: Basic self-responding
You’re having what feels like a busy work day and you need to use the bathroom, but you have a deadline.
Reaction
Reacting to the fear of not meeting the deadline or letting people down, you never stop to use the bathroom.
Response
You put your basic needs first and stop to use the bathroom. The work will still be there when you return.
Scenario 2: Responding to a trigger in relationship
In your virtual team meeting, a colleague says something that really hits you and you can feel it in your body.
Reaction
Your impulse is to protect or hide the impact those words had on you. Two common ways we do this in a reaction is by shutting down and getting quiet and unresponsive (ruminating inside your head) or quickly blurting out whatever comes into your mind to defend against the uncomfortable physical sensation you feel.
Response
You take a moment to pause. You notice the area of your body that felt the impact of the words. You also take note of the immediate feeling that came up. You then place your hand on that area and say something comforting that area such as: “It’s ok, I love you.” Or, “I’m here with you.” You can even add, “We’ll figure this out together after the meeting.”
Scenario 3: Responding to a collective trigger
You go to the grocery store to pick up your groceries for the week and enter to a room of picked-over, emptied shelves. You notice you can’t get basic necessities like toilet paper, garlic, rice and dried beans, hand sanitizer or fresh herbs and vegetables.
Reaction
Feeling sudden anxiety, you frantically pace around the store grabbing an excess of anything and everything you remotely think you might need and stacking your cart to overflowing. Inside your head stories and potentially scary scenarios race through unchecked. Amidst your rush, you lose awareness of other people in the store and even run your cart into someone accidentally.
Response
Noticing a sensation of anxiety or fear in your body or anxious thoughts / stories forming in your mind, you stop your cart to take a breath. Placing your hand wherever the sensations of anxiety or fear arise in your body, you say to yourself: “I am safe right now.” “There will be enough for me.” “I have everything I need.”
Scenario 4: Responding to a social trigger
At the local pharmacy, you notice more than a few people buying excessive amounts of bottled water and hand sanitizer while older shoppers, moving more slowly, look on helplessly.
Reaction
Thinking about your family back home, you sense a tightening or fluttering in your chest as you look on. Suddenly more vigilant than before, you begin strategizing about how to make sure you get what you need or out-maneuver these other shoppers. You cut in front of people to get what you need, clearing the shelves of the last items and hoarding them in your garage at home.
Response
Thinking about your family at home, you sense a tightening or fluttering in your chest as you look on. You stop rolling your cart, pulling it over at the end of the aisle. You close your eyes and breathe in deeply. You recognize the sensation of “vigilance” is alive in you. So, you say to yourself internally, “I am safe and secure in this moment,” followed by, “there is enough for everyone.” Or, “I trust myself to meet any challenges that arise when they come.” “I trust that I will be taken care of.”
Scenario 5: Responding to a work trigger as a leader
As a manager in the service industry, your company’s leadership lets you know that projections for the rest of the year don’t look good as customers evaporate and company stock plummets.
Reaction
Feeling like the bottom of your stomach dropped out, you begin talking yourself up while sharing what you don’t like about members of your team or other groups/departments. You scramble to put together numbers that exemplify your contribution to the team and company and you don’t dare share this information with anyone else. You define a list of those whose roles you believe are no longer necessary to share with leadership.
Response
Noticing how this news impacts you physically, you take a walk outside to get some fresh air and change the scenery. While walking, you feel into your sensations and name what you’re feeling as “a fear of losing your job” and “a story that you might be forced to lay off members of your team.” Approaching a small knoll, you take a seat on the grass. There you promise yourself that you’ll bring the team together via teleconference the next day, share the news transparently and open the floor for their ideas and contributions. This isn’t something you have to carry or decide on in a vacuum. You know that distributing the burden can ignite creative ideas and deepen the group’s shared resilience to move through the challenge together.
“Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.”
Do you notice what the above example scenarios all have in common? There are a few common qualities that define a mindful response and differentiate it from reacting.
Responding always starts with a pause.
Responding gets curious.
Responding makes contact with the present experience.
Responding tries not to identify with the experience.
Responding takes responsibility for how it feels.
Responding in mindfulness always starts with a pause
Responding mindfully starts with a pause—whether it’s a breath, closing the eyes or removing oneself from the situation. This momentary choice gives the reptilian brain‘s “primitive drives related to thirst, hunger, sexuality, and territoriality,” an opportunity to respond differently than past or habitual behaviors and impulses might have it respond, describes Andrew E. Budson M.D. in “Psychology Today.” This opens up a new set of possible outcomes.
Responding gets curious
Responding mindfully observes the situation and the impact and identifies what’s there in the moment. This mindful response brings awareness to what and where the sensation or emotion is. Using mindfulness, a response would begin by asking simple questions like:
Is there a sensation here?
Is there an emotion here?
Is there a belief here?
Is there a story here that I’m telling myself?
Is there an assumption here that I’ve made?
Plutchik’s wheel of emotions
“The beauty of this tool,” explains Hokuma Karimova, MA and author of The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It, “is in its ability to simplify complex concepts. Understanding is a crucial step to solving any dilemma. When the question concerns our emotions that we process on a subconscious level, it can be hard to first identify and verbalize our needs.
This is why the tool is so useful. It enables the user to visualize their emotions, and understand which combinations of emotions created this outcome.”
Once responding receives an answer to the questions above, it gets more curious and more specific (while keeping its questions simple). A deeper response, or exploration in mindfulness, wants to know where and what kind of sensation, emotion, belief, story or assumption is present. It might inquire:
Sensation: where is it in my body right now? (Name the location.)
Emotion: which emotion is here right now? (Name the basic emotion.)
Belief: what am I believing right now? (Name the belief in a brief sentence.)
Story: what’s the story I’m telling myself right now? Imagining? (Briefly name the story or what you are imagining.)
Assumption: what assumption might I be making right now? Is it true? (Name the assumption.)
Tip: An assumption, by nature, is not based in fact. Anything that you cannot validate when you ask yourself if it’s true is likely an assumption.
“Compassion can be described as letting ourselves be touched by the vulnerability and suffering that is within ourselves and all beings. The full flowering of compassion also includes action: Not only do we attune to the presence of suffering, we respond to it.”
Responding mindfully makes contact with the present experience
When we’re responding mindfully rather than reacting to fear, making contact with the vulnerable part of our body where we’re feeling the emotion (we’ve now named) brings our presence there.
Making contact with one’s experience can look like:
Noticing the area of the body where we feel the sensation or emotion.
Touching that area of the body with the hand.
Speaking to that area of the body.
Mindfully responding tries not to identify with the experience
Reaction gets caught up in identifying with fear and vulnerability—making itself wrong, others bad or speaking in a language like, “I am {the experience}.” Rather than, “I am experiencing {the experience} right now.” The reaction cannot differentiate itself from the sensation, emotion or experience.
Responding doesn’t seek to make wide-reaching judgments or decisions about the experience. Responding recognizes sensation, emotion and experience as transient and evolving. Experience both moves and changes from moment-to-moment. Experience may take multiple forms or completely pass in a matter of seconds. What’s the sense in identifying with something that you are certain will change at any given moment?
Responding takes responsibility for how it feels
Responding doesn’t blame itself, the situation or others for how it feels. It takes ownership of the sensation, its emotion, its own mindset, belief or story and its assumptions. When we’re responding we aren’t judging, blaming, attacking or trying to control or dominate a situation, another person or ourselves.
It isn’t necessary to strategize, manipulate or coerce to get our needs met or get what we think we want when we’re responding; because we are meeting those needs ourselves and offering ourselves what we actually need.
“What am I doing right now to contribute to what I’m feeling?”
When we’re responding we can be gentle with our imperfect selves, patient, kind. We notice, name and meet ourselves first; then we do the same for others and the situation. And, we can be honest when we’re not being that way and hold ourselves accountable. We can mindfully ask ourselves in the moment, “what am I doing right now to contribute to what I’m feeling?” or how am I behaving? What am I believing?
These simple acts of mindfulness create safety and trust both within oneself and with others, which in turn fosters more care, more compassion and more responding with mindfulness.
10-min guided meditation with affirmations. Join Koa Elder for this simple 10-min meditation where you’ll connect with your body, your process and affirm your basic goodness. Take the next 10 minutes for yourself. Slow down, feel your own body and your energy.
One of the reasons I was drawn to Sahaja, or “simple” meditation, was its easy-to-remember and meaningful affirmations. And, the way it calls you to make contact with your own body at various points … connecting you to your own subtle energetic system.
Make getting to know yourself, your process and your subtle energy system a priority and commit to this simple daily practice! This meditation will help you get to know the different centers of energy in your body, learn the qualities of each center and what each needs through simple affirmations while placing your right hand upon each energy center inside your body.
Guided audio: simple Sahaja mindfulness meditation
Note: You can choose to play in your browser (fastest) or listen on Soundcloud.
We are all made of elements. So, why wouldn’t we use them to support our wellbeing? Learn simple ways to use the elements to calm stress, cleanse, find balance, self-support and self-care.
What are the elements?
Like the number of fingers on a human hand, there are five elements from both a Sahaja Yoga and an Ayurvedic perspective:
While you may be able to easily pick out the five elements in nature, the variations of them in our every day lives may be less obvious. Let’s explore common things that represent the five elements and the qualities that characterize each.
Sometimes referred to as ether, the element of space isn’t always considered an element from western indigenous perspectives where the other four elements are favored.
What common, every day things are representative of the space element?
The air element can often be confused for the element of ether/space. It’s different in that air has the quality of movement and temperature.
What common, every day things are representative of the air element?
The wind.
Smoke
Touch
What characterizes the air element?
Breath
Movement
The feel of skin, temperature or an object
The ether/space element manifests in the human body through the ears as sound. “We can experience the sounds of nature: running water, rustling trees, bird song and the calming, balancing effects of nature. The sound of silence can be found in meditation and stillness.”
Another simple element to recognize in everyday life, water is probably the most widely-used, culturally-acceptable element used for cleansing and support. When one is tired or stressed they take a bath. When one feels overwhelmed or dirty they might take a shower. Water has an obvious way of holding and supporting big things, allowing them to float.
What common, every day things are representative of the water element?
The earth element is one we can’t very well avoid in our day. As soon as we awake in the morning and our feet touch the floor, the earth element makes its appearance. As well, whenever we sit down, go outside into our yard, look at a tree or smell any of nature’s bountiful scents we’ve connected with the earth element.
What common, every day things are representative of the earth element?
She goes on to advise that “in a healthy body, all the elements are working in harmony. However, in an imbalanced state, any [single] element will disturb all others.”
The relationship between our sense and the elements
From an Ayurvedic perspective, each of the elements manifests as one of our five senses.
Ether/space manifests as sound.
Air manifests as touch.
Fire manifests as sight.
Water manifests as taste.
Earth manifests as smell.
Ether/space element manifests as sound.
Whether it is vibratory, the sound we can pick up with our ears or the sound of absolute silence.
When you’re listening to the sound of classical music, instrumental music, harmony or a chant or om, you’re using the ether/space element for self-care.
CONSIDER: What is the message of the music I’m listening to? Do its words align with what I value? Does the music create a sense of what I want to create more of in my life?
Air element manifests as touch.
Think about how you sense warmth when its cold outside: through your largest sense organ, the skin. And, your skin responds with either a relaxation or maybe even goosebumps when the breeze passes by.
When you’re using the smoke produced from burning a cleansing wood, needle or herb, you’re using the air element for self-care. When you open the windows of your space to feel the breeze, you’re using the air element for self-care.
CONSIDER: What am I burning in my home or office daily and what’s the intention behind it? Is that in service of the energy I want in my home, office or the space around my body? Do I open the windows and allow airflow through my space?
Fire element manifests as sight.
What sense is immediately most drawn to a fire? Our eyes! We often can’t stop staring at the ethereal brightness of a fire or the way its flame dances, changes color and changes shape.
When you face the sunrise in the morning, you’re using the fire element for self-care. Even when you light a candle indoors, you have the opportunity to use the fire element for self-care.
CONSIDER: Where could I benefit from more focus in my life? Am I being too cold and could I increase my expression in some part of my life? What dark places within me could use more warmth or the light of awareness?
Water element manifests as taste.
When you’re hungry for something, do you ever feel your mouth get moist in anticipation? You just cannot wait for another juicy bite of your meal. Can you feel your digestive juices in your gut preparing for that next bite?
When you dip your feet into a river, a pond or dive into the ocean you’re using the water element for self-care. When you take a long shower or hop in the bath you’re using the water element for self-care.
CONSIDER: Where can I slow down and savor the “taste” of things more?What needs holding right now? What can I wash away that’s no longer serving me?
Earth element manifests as smell.
How do you feel when you smell a delicious dinner cooking when you walk into someone’s home? What about when you open the door in the morning and smell cut grass and flowers blooming?
Scent immediately brings us into the present moment, grounds us and calms our nervous systems. When you cook dinner with “scentual” spices, you’re using the earth element for self-care. When you sit upon the earth and take in the scent of the soil, the heat on the stone, the drying leaves or the plant life there you’re using the earth element for self-care.
CONSIDER: Where can I slow down more in my day? Can I close my eyes and use my scent perception alone for a few minutes today? What scents am I drawn to and which repel me? What can I learn about both?
How we use the elements inside our bodies
The qualities of the elements are also reflected in countless physiological processes in our bodies–from digestion to excretion. Let’s take a look at some of the more recognizable elemental functions of our body.
Ether, or space element in the body
From our mouths to our nostrils down into our respiratory tract, abdomen, diaphragm, and deep into our cells the space element is at work. These organs allow us to both create and receive the benefits of healing sound.
The air element in the body
Air element can be found in our organs that move things: from the tensing and relaxing of our muscles, the inflation and deflation of our lungs, to the squeezing contraction and relaxation of peristalsis, or the movement and break-down of food through the intestines.
The fire element in the body
The fire element helps us burn, or break down, our food allowing us to assimilate its nutrient benefits. From enzymatic functions that aid in breaking down the food to its metabolism. The spark and flame qualities of the fire element also represent our intellect and ability to see clearly (sight).
The water element in the body
It may be easy to guess which physiological processes are governed by water in the body. Anything that flows or moves like water, including saliva, blood and plasma, mucous membranes and digestive juices. All the bodily functions that help us taste our food and prepare the body for receiving, digesting and metabolizing it.
The earth element in the body
When you consider the parts of the body that might remind you of the earth m you may think of bone (like a mineral), nails, teeth or even hair. Parts of the body that are strong and reflect our mineral content. Other organs where the earth element governs include our skin, our tendons, cartilage and muscles.
How can I use the elements for cleansing, stress relief and self-care?
Inspired by 5,000+ years of Vedic knowledge, Ayurveda uses what we can easily observe every day in nature as its principles for self-care. For example, if like increases like, then opposites must balance.
This is called the Principle of Opposites. And, you may already have noticed it working in your life. Consider the following qualities, or gunas, in relation to its paired opposite.
“The Charaka Samhita, one of the main texts of Ayurveda, offers 10 pairs of opposites as a key to reinstating balance. Thousands of years ago, the yogi sages who developed Ayurveda created these principles. With clear minds and undisturbed senses as their instruments of research, the sages determined that qualities of matter exist in pairs of opposites. They also found that “like increases like”—for instance, adding heat to something warm increases the warmth. And they discovered that opposing qualities balance each other, so adding heat to something cold results in something warmer, or less cold.”
This list describes how the five elements interact in all matter here on earth (and even in our universe).
A quality(or guna):
Its paired opposite quality (or guna):
Cold
Hot
Light
Heavy
Dry
Oily
Subtle
Gross
Clear
Sticky
Mobile
Static
Rough
Smooth or slimy
Sharp
Slow or dull
Hard
Soft
Dense
Porous or liquid
Now, let’s play with the Principle of Opposites in some examples you’ve likely experienced directly in your life:
In early Spring, a bit overzealous about the first signs of sunlight, you take your jog outside and notice a bit too late that you’ve gotten a sunburn.
Noticing you’ve gotten too much sun, friends and colleagues urge you to take a cool shower and apply aloe vera gel to your skin to cool the heat.
Starting in the Autumn each year, as the wind and temperatures cool down, you notice your skin starts to get a bit drier and even flakes off.
Playing opposites, you would apply oil to not only your skin, but also you notice adding healthy oils (like ghee, coconut oil, olive oil and avocado oil) to your diet seems to help.
When allergy season starts up, you notice your throat feels rough and scratchy causing you to cough.
When you drink warm herbal tea or take herbal syrups containing slimy, lubricating herbs like slippery elm bark in them, it eases your throat and cough.
You’ve been on-the-go all day long and you’re starting to feel the effects on your mobility: out of breath, fatigue and soreness in your legs or feet.
The first urge you have coming home that night is to sit down, motionless and “space out” in front of a show.
Using the Principle of Opposites and applying these paired opposite qualities in your life can be an incredibly empowering way to create balance, ease stress and take good care of yourself, simply.
“By inquiring about the qualities present in ourselves and our surroundings, we can sharpen our skills of direct perception just like the sages did …”
Practice recognizing pairs of opposites throughout your week. Notice how one is a loving response to the other. Notice what happens in your body when you recognize something that feels off, identify its qualities and apply its paired opposite. And, notice what happens when you don’t respond at all.
This simple practice will deepen your understanding of the world around you and your body’s reaction to it. Simply using paired opposites to respond to yourself with mindfulness and care alone will have a nourishing, loving impact on how you experience your day.
1. Use the ether, or space, element to cool anger, ease tension and relax over-control
You’re feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities and like there’s just no time for anything–especially you! Instead, you’re exhausting yourself meeting obligations in service to everyone else’s needs.
This kind of overscheduling and overcommitment eventually creates heat in the body that may take the shape of inflammation and joint pain, bloating, body tension and unnecessary effortful posture holding, impatience, over-directness with others and the need to control others.
Find 10 minutes of quiet time each day to stare into the sky.
Start simply. Find 10 minutes of quiet time for yourself each day to cool down. Use the time to stare into the sky with its spaciousness and cooling colors. Making time for literal space in your schedule can begin to ease the fiery heat that builds when you’re not getting your own needs met.
“Each of the five elements of earth, fire, water, air and ether (i.e., space) relate closely to an aspect of our subtle system. This means that the element can assist in nurturing and cleansing that aspect.
You’re feeling heavy and low energy, like you’re walking through sludge to get through your day. Maybe like you’re a bit stuck or even stagnant.
This burdensome weightiness is caused by inactivity and overindulgence. Like a pool of water disconnected from any water flow becomes thick and murky. This heaviness in the body may take the shape of lethargy, weight gain, phlegm in the nose, throat or lungs, oily skin and hair, feelings of depression and unworthiness, and comparison to others.
During your morning routine, commit daily to either getting some fresh air on a walk or smudging yourself.
Playing opposite to the qualities of heavy, oily, sticky and static, you’ll want to lighten, dry, smooth and mobilize your body.
If you can get outside for an enjoyable walk at a somewhat challenging pace, you’ll be inviting the fresh air to lighten and dry you as it rolls over your skin. Focus on making your movements smooth and full: take wider steps than you usually do and reach your arms fully forward and fully backward in opposite to your feet as you walk. Take in each breathe feeling its coolness as it enters your nostrils and fills up your lungs.
Mobilizing your body engages your heart which in turn engages your blood and lymph flow. Sweating is your body’s natural cleansing process to move heaviness through your skin and out of you. Feel your own strength as you mobilize. Notice how the air constantly cools then dries the sweat from your brow.
When you can’t walk, make sure you have a cleansing herb handy for burning and smudging yourself and your home or office space. Sage, palo santo, copal, rosemary and lemongrass are all excellent for cleansing, drying and lightening stagnant energy on your body or in a space.
3. Use the fire element to focus, purify and clear away the clutter
You feel scattered and unfocused in your workday, and it’s bleeding into your all-day. Follow the instinct of your eyes to the flame of a candle.
Focus on a candle flame for 5 minutes before bed or first thing in the morning.
Lighting one candle in a dark room without distraction, practice focusing on the candle’s flame. Notice its movement, the shapes it takes and how many colors you can see inside the flame.
Stay with observing the candle flame each night before bed or each morning upon waking. Practice being present with the flame for 5 minutes, then 10 or more as feels good to you.
Practice looking through the flame with your left eye, then your right eye, then both eyes. As you observe the flame, notice what thoughts come up for you. Acknowledge they are there and let them gently pass. No judgment if you get caught up in one. Just return to observing the flame when you realize you’re lost in the thought. Return again and again to the flame.
4. Use the water + earth elements to cleanse, support and nourish while grounding and stabilizing anxiety
You’re having trouble falling asleep at night. Worry and anxiety is keeping you awake. You just can’t seem to let go of the to-do list and settle into sleep.
During the daytime, your mind feels scattered while your body feels tense and shaky with so much energy you don’t quite know what to do with it. Almost like you’ve had too many cups of coffee (except you haven’t).
Playing opposite to the qualities of cold, light, dry, hard and mobile, you’ll want to add warmth, weight, wetness, and soften and still your body.
Soak your feet in warm Epsom salt water for 10 mins before bed each evening.
Combining the healing qualities of water with the earth element represented by the Epsom salt helps warm, moisten, ground, soften and calm your overactive body and mind.
Foot soaking is a gentle way to care for yourself and bring yourself back to your center, while the salt pulls toxins from your feet both physically and energetically. It’s like a reset from your day that you’ll come to rely on.
When you’re done with soaking your feet, rub them with your favorite lotion or oil, giving them a little massage and thank them for their help in keeping you moving, yet connected, all day. For supporting you tirelessly.
Want more simple, natural ways to take better care of yourself at home?
