Communication

How to be a social activist at work

1 Comment

Mindfully take social activism on social justice issues and respond to humanitarian needs through your work. Turn helplessness into effective action and apathy into a compassionate response.

Climate change denial. Anti-war. Eco-terrorism. Anti-immigration. Anti-establishment. Smash the patriarchy. Corporate accountability. Anti-elitism. Anti-colonialism. Anti-corruption. Racism. Ageism. Sexism, sexual bias, harassment and #metoo. Animal rights, sentiency rights … and the list of humanitarian causes and social justice issues goes on.

We’re seeing a global and unprecedentedly visible (c/o social media) rise in awareness and reaction against complexes of oppression, models of monarchy, institutions of injustice, corrupt leadership and unsustainable systems and processes fueled by greed while producing untenable waste.

We’ve entered 2020 at a tipping point: from Amazonian deforestation, entire countries on fire (Austrialia) to a world in protest and ancient monarchies re-negotiating their roles and their impact on their countries.

We’ve entered 2020 at a tipping point. The Amazon rainforest, the world’s lungs and a major water source (via sky rivers), has now become The Royal Statistical Society’s most troubling stat of the decade: 10.3 million American football fields of land have been deforested.

And, step aside, California, the entire island of Australia caught fire this year, resulting in almost half a billion animal deaths and counting—threatening to wipe out entire species and ecosystems completely.

And protests everywhere. Hong Kong, France, Australia, Iran and the U.S. “2020 begins as 2019 left off – dissent,” reads a Euronews headline summarizing global protest on everything from impeachment and anti-war to climate change, pensions and pro-democracy.

Social activism and humanitarian movements are gaining support as we collectively watch the underdog get taken under, while our story’s evil villian seems to reign-on unchecked.

Even the oft-adored British Royal Family is feeling the tipping point. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, announced they’d be stepping back as senior Royal Family members, changing their focus to becoming financially independent.

In Finland, the youngest female prime minister was recently sworn in, prepared to lead a coalition of mostly 30-something female-led parties.

Movements are gaining support as we collectively watch the underdog get taken under, while our story’s evil villain seems to reign-on unchecked.

The macro meets the micro: now’s the time to take action

Aquarian the humanitarian

During the last half of January,  the story gets more interesting—for the underdog. The sun enters Aquarius (Jan 20), followed up by an Aquarian new moon (Jan 24) three days later. You’ve probably heard about The Age of Aquarius, or maybe you can hear a groovy soundtrack from the 60s playing in the back of your mind right now. Either way, what these astrological events invite us to do is to harness the natural energy in the macrocosm (the heavens) for use in the microcosm (our lives, our work and our crumbling systems here on planet earth).


Photo by Klemen Vrankar on Unsplash

If you’re not already starting to feel that natural energy, the sun entering Aquarius on Jan 20 may certainly awaken within you a call to explore studying, learning or doing something new, and maybe even unconventional. The sun represents conscious awareness, light, action and our masculine, future-focused tendencies. Aquarius energy represents the humanitarian who, with a 3,000-foot perspective, can step back and see the whole system’s inner workings while zeroing in on where the system’s getting blocked. Aquarian energy maintains a positive mindset, approaching the blocks in the system with a creative, experimental attitude that invites innovative new ideas to emerge to address old, worn-out approaches, processes and systems.

Together, the sun’s active, forward-thinking energy combined with the big-picture down to the details perspective and experimental approach of Aquarius makes now an excellent time to find ways we can be humanitarians in our own work and lives.

These astrological events invite us to harness the natural energy in the macrocosm (the heavens) for use in the microcosm (our lives, our work and our crumbling systems here on planet earth).

A few days after the sun moves into this global humanitarian and activist energy, we get a new moon entering Aquarius. New Moons mark the beginning of the lunar cycle and are inner-focused, contemplative and intention and vision-setting in nature. Perfect time to really get clear about how you want to show up in the world—and in your work—in an active, restorative, supportive, humanitarian way. A way that unites for the common good through awareness, education or, better yet, action.

How are employees at large tech companies being social activists?

2019 was the Year of the Social Activist at work for tech companies, and 2020 isn’t looking much different.

Google employees faced off with their employer, staging a 20,000-employee global walkout in 2019. Their activism took the form of actively engaging the company using their engineering skillsets on social issues ranging from a lack of diversity to sexual assault to protesting Google’s anti-organizing behavior as they systematically let go of a handful of mostly Trans teammates.

At Facebook, hundreds of employees organized against the founder’s stance on transparency and fact-checking process for political advertising, among other issues.

At Amazon, employees concerned about climate change and calling the company’s CEO, Jeff Bezos, to take action have reported warnings they may be let go for speaking out on the topic.

At Uber, contracting employees using the hashtag message #DeleteUber uncorked a stream of Twitter activism that gave way to accusations of sexual misconduct in management. The hashtag activism eventually led to a commissioned study of the company’s management requested by its board of directors and a call for the resignation of Uber’s CEO.

What does social activism look like in other lines of work?

If we’re embodying the spirit of intentional Aquarian energy, there’s no limit to the ways social activism and humanitarian action can show up in our work and lives. Meet three humanitarian activists using the spirit of these times and this energy to change broken global systems locally.

The visionary and spiritual humanitarian


Photo from Vanessastone.org

Vanessa Stone’s visionary humanitarian work comes through in the act of being in service—to self, to others and to the whole of your own life as the spiritual path.

Her body of work, which began 15 years ago, moves from a deep “inspiration to cultivate visionaries and mentor heart-centered global leaders. She has a passion for actualizing authentic visions in the world and serving as a catalyst for unifying people from all walks of life,” according to her Facebook page.

She carries out her work in the world both virtually and in-person in California and Hawaii through “public teaching, apprenticeship programs, residential immersions, retreats, international humanitarian service, photography and writing.” These are just a few of the creative, innovative ways she shows up as a humanitarian, a spiritually-grounded leader and social-spiritual activist.

Her most recent work focuses on preparing others to bring their humanitarian visions into being through transformational facilitation.  Approaching learning as a co-facilitator with Nature, she also offers contemplative farming immersions on the big island of Hawaii where the farm sanctuary she’s creating acts as a “natural living classroom … to explore our sacred relationship with Nature (both inner and outer).”

The relational theatre-artist activist


Photo by mostafa meraji on Unsplash

Nathanael Card is a Producing Director at Dragon Productions Theatre Company in Redwood City, Calif. who wears many hats including Master Electrician, hiring actors and managing production budget. Also known as, “a wizard of the theatre arts. Some would say a jack of all trades. A person who sort of fits in where there’s the most need I can fulfill.”

Using his work as a laboratory to practice and study his unique humanitarian offering to the world, he makes a point to vocalize his emotional experience with his colleagues directly. He addresses the impacts his coworkers have on him (and he has on them) as they happen in production meetings or roundtable discussions.

“I see theatre, and art in general, as a necessary outlet for the collective emotional experience.”

“When those emotions aren’t expressed or stated thoughtfully, then they are carried out of the office into homes. And, I suspect that has lots to do with problems in personal life—from binge drinking after work to domestic violence. Those problems being the inability to manage anger, sadness, frustration, for example, without it all building up. When I feel those emotions arise, rather than close up and swallow them, I take a breath, ground myself and say that I have something that I need to say just to clear the air and move past it. It’s still kind of an experiment,” he relates, recalling how he approaches his relationships in his daily work at the theatre.

But, he’s not stopping there. “Because I see that all of our actions are connected. And if I want my world to be better, then that means everybody I interact with needs to be better as well. I see theatre and art in general, as a necessary outlet for the collective emotional experience.”

Using theatre as his platform, he’s written and will direct, come this summer, what he terms, “devised, immersive theatre of social activism” to address one of the key social issues he sees we’re facing collectively. One that feels like “a flavor of fear,” he describes. “Uncomfortably crude. Like if there was a block of wood underneath your mattress. It feels like there’s no way to get comfortable.”

Card’s theatre of social activism brings awareness to a “uniquely masculine, male struggle to communicate and respond to our emotions in a way that’s ultimately beneficial and constructive to the ones we care about,” he explains.

Card’s show intends to address some of the most visible and socially fragmenting topics impacting our culture including domestic violence, alcoholism and racism in a humorous way that “instills a sense of hope.”

“There’s a general sense among men,” he goes on to share, “that we’re tiptoeing on our own broken glass when we want to participate in general conversation or topics we care about.”

“There’s a lot of men who are just afraid to speak in general because they’ve either heard ‘you’ve had your chance to talk, no more talking’ or every other word out of our mouths gets called out for privilege. As true as some of that may be, it becomes emotionally exhausting.”

Card’s show, AJ’s Annual Party, is as he describes it: “in the spirit of the happenings of the 60s, but more grounded. There’s some clowning happening because I think this sort of subject matter needs some levity. We have to face this shit every day, so you have to have a sense of humor.” The show intends to address some of the most visible and culturally fragmenting social topics, including domestic violence, alcoholism and racism in a humorous way that “instills a sense of hope.”

“If we’re not able to better communicate our emotions, that becomes everybody’s problem,” Card relates.

The eco-artist, herbalist and plant conservationist


Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Histotech by day, eco-artist, herbalist and conservationist by night, Nicole Klinge, has been making “sacred art out of trash for 25 years.” She uses her art “as a way to educate people on the trash problem, transform ‘trash’ into something beautiful and offer it as gratitude to our Creator for all the abundance we are given,” she shares.

“Our disconnect with spirit and our disconnect with nature is really at the heart of the problem.”

What’s the problem she wants to address through her life’s actions and her work? In the U.S., she shares “it’s our disconnect with spirit, true spirit, not bullshit religion (which I think is a major part of the problem) and our disconnect with nature that is really at the heart of the problem. If we all understood our interconnectedness with each other and all living creatures, our decisions and ways of being would be very different. Our social and cultural issues are largely because of these disconnects. Societies where people still have a connection to nature, spirit and each other are very different in their values.”

While her workday is comprised of doing medical pathology testing in a histology laboratory, she relates that she doesn’t believe in the waste and profit-driven culture of contemporary western medicine.

“It’s amazing how many people want to be healthier and use natural therapies. So, I feel like I’m changing healthcare for the better—just a little bit—by having conversations with people.”

“Being in the medical industry, I talk to many people about natural medicine and herbal therapy,” she expresses with hope, “and it’s amazing how many people want to be healthier and use natural therapies. So, I feel like I’m changing healthcare for the better—just a little bit—by having these conversations with people.”

Klinge began her study of plant medicines and herbalism 15 years ago. While she’s watched this facet of her work take many forms since that time, she’s currently practicing as a plant healer and herbalist. She grows medicinal plants and teaches people how to utilize them for personal health, while advocating for native plant restoration. She feels this work can “restore environmental balance, feed wildlife and pollinators and change the current mindset of what a yard should be.”

Klinge is able to fulfill all of her produce needs, including growing more than 100 medicinal plants using native woodland and prairie gardens on 1/3 of an acre.

She champions back-yard gardening, or “growing your own,” and started teaching gardening over the past year, sharing how she’s able to fulfill all of her produce needs, including growing more than 100 medicinal plants using native woodland and prairie gardens on 1/3 of an acre.

As an active member of a Central Illinois-based conservation organization, Friends of Horseshoe Bottoms, and in hopes of restoring animal and ecological habitat while inspiring others, Klinge works with the group restoring a 160-acre cornfield in West Peoria area to its native ecology: prairie and wetland. “This year will be our third native and medicinal plant sale to raise money for the project and make these plants available to people who want to have a healthier ecosystem in their own yard,” Klinge passionately shares.

How to mindfully address social justice and humanitarian needs through your work

With the energy of the cosmos on your side and a few tips and examples from those modeling what it looks like, turning helplessness into effective action and apathy into a compassionate response isn’t just for the Martin Luther King Juniors, Sanna Marins or Greta Thunbergs of the world.

Using a simple yet natural, cyclical approach to taking action, like Hakomi method’s Sensitivity Cycle, can help you prepare both mindfully and intentionally.

1. Identify where you’re at right now

Effective action is the second stage in Hakomi’s Sensitivity Cycle after rest/relaxation or completion and awareness/clarity. The Sensitivity Cycle is a four-stage cycle of human experience the founder of the Hakomi method, Ron Kurtz, conceptualized in order to provide “a theoretical map of optimal life functioning emphasizing the need for sensitivity to one’s internal experience in relation to four essential stages.”

INFOGRAPHIC: The Sensitivity Cycle | Stages of Experience | Hakomi Method

The Sensitivity Cycle, “suggests that for a satisfying life an individual needs to:

  1. (Awareness / Clarity) be aware of, or sensitive to, one’s own essential situations and needs,
  2. (Effective Action) take appropriate action based on this clarity,
  3. (Satisfaction) experience satisfaction as a result of successful action, and
  4. (Healthy Rest / Relaxation or Completion) be able to rest and regenerate in order to become aware and clear about what is needed next (start over at Step 1).”

But, “when sensitivity is impeded via a barrier, the loop is either stalled or becomes a shallow or unsatisfying journey,” describes Kurtz in his 1990 book on Hakomi Method. “The sensitivity cycle is a process and barriers are its interruptions.” Kurtz describes a barrier as a habitual way we block increases to sensitivity in each stage of the cycle.

So, identify your current stage on the sensitivity cycle. It’s important you work to complete that stage before you’ll be able to move on to the next. Until you’re able to be at an organic and intentional place of action-taking naturally.

Don’t forget to consider where your organization might be in terms of the sensitivity cycle. If they’re just getting started and have yet to define their vision, mission or company values, they might be early in the awareness/clarity stage. Timing is important here, so approaching your company once they’ve reached a level of awareness and clarity about their own business proposition or strategy is key for engaging them in support of the causes or social issues you feel strongly about.

2. Clarify what you value and what your company values

The start of a new decade and a new year is a great time to get clear on what you value—from the inside out. From this place of knowing what you hold dear comes your boundaries, your goals and your purpose. And from this place you’ll more easily be able to focus on the social issues, humanitarian efforts and causes you really care about rather than blindly, randomly reacting to every situation, cause or organization vying for your attention.

Help your organization understand, from a values perspective, why the cause is something they should care about.

If your values don’t align with your company’s values, then it’s time to look elsewhere. But, if your values do align with your company’s values, then using that as a bridge to supporting causes important to both you and the company can be powerful. Help your organization understand, from a values perspective, why the cause is something they should care about. Then, suggest opportunities to be in service to the cause you and your company care about like volunteering, donation-matching programs or using the company’s network and reach to amplify social and humanitarian issues you both agree are important.

3. Practice self-forgiveness

A lot is going on both globally and locally, and it can feel overwhelming and inundating at times in our around-the-clock, virtually-connected world. Practicing self-forgiveness is foundational for preparing yourself to take loving, compassionate and helpful action in your life and your work.

“I think self-forgiveness is essential for that—being able to learn from a moment and move on. So, you can just enjoy the day-to-day,” advises Card.

Start with this simple, Sahaja yoga-inspired affirmation:

“I am not guilty of anything at all.”

  1. Find a quiet moment in a quiet space.
  2. Sitting comfortably in your chair, place your right hand on your left shoulder at the place where your neck and shoulder meet.
  3. With sincerity, say to yourself: “I am not guilty of anything at all.”
  4. Repeat this statement at least three times, or until you believe yourself.

Because let’s face it, “there are days where I feel like I am not doing enough to be part of the solution,” says Klinge. “I struggle with my job, which is laden with plastic waste and chemicals. Does this make me a bad person for working there against my better judgments on what is right and good? I do what I can with the time, energy and life I have. I try to show up to good things and be a part of the solution and walk my talk the best I can.”

4. Work with what you’ve got 

As Klinge wisely suggests, “I would ask: what do you love? What are your natural skills and talents? What is easy for you?  Work with what you got!”

Activism takes many forms: it can be someone meditating and praying by themselves, it can be someone doing web design work for a non-profit, starting an organization, speaking out or simply teaching by example.

Klinge shares Conscious Content’s passion and knowing that “if everyone were doing the work they were made to do then people would be much happier.” Activism takes many forms: it can be someone meditating and praying by themselves, it can be someone doing web design work for a non-profit, starting an organization, speaking out or simply teaching by example. Perhaps it is about finding your truth and living it in whatever way your individual self has the desire, experience and love of.”

5. Take baby steps. Don’t try to solve everything at once.

A wise, South American friend once told me, “piedra por piedra la tortuga cruza el rio,” or stone by stone the turtle crosses the river.

And Card agrees, sharing his own, personal process: “Don’t try and solve everything at once. Every time I’m intentional about communicating my emotions or doing emotional work, even if it’s an abject failure on the surface, that is a baby step.”

What is one, extremely simple thing you can do in service of what you care about each and every day? Something so simple that it would be silly not to do?

As with anything in work and in life, we’re going to need to take our unique flavor of social activism and humanitarian work one step at a time. After all, what our very own version looks like has yet to be seen by the world. (Here’s where that Aquarian experimental attitude really comes into play.) Taking our time to just do a little each day in the direction of what we care about, stone-by-stone, will eventually lay the groundwork for our own unique humanitarian offering.

To break it down ask yourself: what is one, almost effortless thing you can do in service of what you care about every day. Something so simple that it would be silly not to do. And, do that one thing. On repeat. Every. Single. Day. It just may become a habit. Then, add another.

6. Seek support

From your relationship with your partner, your dog, your family or your larger community—seek support from those who get it and especially those who care.

“Surround yourself with people who are supportive of this work,” advises Card, “supportive of you. It helps a lot. Being around people you love or care about can help you relax. Those who can provide a safer or more comfortable place for you to work through this stuff.”

Align with others who share your values and the causes you care about and spend time with them. Pick their brains. Observe them as behavioral models and lean on them when you need to. Keyword search hashtags on Facebook to find a local, national or global group aligning around the cause(s) you care about.

7. Allow yourself simple pleasures

The work of social activism isn’t for the faint of heart. And yet, as Card suggests, “It doesn’t all have to be profound.”

Pleasure and play is a way we rejuvenate. A way we can refill our cup so that we have the energy, mind and emotional space to be in service to the people, issues, causes and organizations we deeply care about.

Make sure you’re finding time for play and pleasure to balance out the more serious work of righting what you might believe are the world’s wrongs.

From playing video games with a friend to drawing, dancing, walks in nature, gardening or adventuring in a new neighborhood with your dog. Make sure you’re finding time for play and pleasure to balance out the more serious work of righting what you might believe are the world’s wrongs.

He urges those wanting to be activists and humanitarians in their work to, “give yourself a break, but also be aware that taking a break can turn into escapism. Just be prepared to address that honestly if you find yourself escaping rather than doing the work … which just might indicate there’s a step missing that needs to be addressed first.”


Want to explore how you can address social justice and humanitarian issues in your work?

Schedule time for a Consultation or a ReConnection™ session with me.

Enjoyed this content?

Like this article below and Follow Conscious Content on Facebook. Or, Follow me on LinkedIn at Conscious Content

Communication, Hakomi, Relationship

Riding the rapids of a layoff

1 Comment

From survivor’s guilt to the fear of taking on new roles, responsibilities and wondering if,  or when, you’re the next to be laid off. If you’re still aboard after the ship capsizes, learn how to meet the fear, use mindfulness to take good care, and adjust your approach so you can recover more resiliently.

I was in my 20s during the Great Recession, building high-performing websites for hoteliers all over North, Central and South America. From my open-floor-plan cubicle in a Chicago burb, I watched swaths of my coworkers meet their layoff fates in waves of tens to hundreds at a time. Hoteliers were quick to machete their marketing budgets as the economy tanked, and everyone cut back on travel.

Layoffs and involuntary work discharges seemed like they were becoming the norm across the U.S. with a total loss of 8.8 million jobs at the recession’s lowest point in February 2010, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Today, with coronavirus taking an economic toll across industries and rocketing unemployment rates upwards of 20.5 million job losses in April 2020, according to the U.S. Labor Department, layoffs are becoming the norm. To put it in perspective, Coronavirus in the month of April resulted in almost 43% more layoffs than there were at the Great Recessions’ lowest point in Feb 2010.

To put it in perspective, Coronavirus in the month of April resulted in almost 43% more layoffs than there were at the Great Recessions’ lowest point in Feb 2010.

I remember quietly wondering: how do people deal with layoffs? As it seemed so foreign to me and like such a distant dream. What did they do next? How did they recover from what seemed like a severe blow to their self-worth? How did they survive?


Photo by Elliot Mann on Unsplash

By wave three, I was called into my manager’s office.

… either we’re solving a really complex problem, or we’re all getting fired.

Fast forward to April of last year. On the fifteenth anniversary of my Mother’s passing, to be specific. All departments at our mature tech startup received vague mentions from their leaders that a company-wide meeting would be held the following morning and to arrive no later than 9:30 a.m.

There was an energy of confusion in the office that morning. I was joking with two colleagues who sat next to me that this was one of two things: either we’re solving a really complex problem, or we’re all getting fired.

Turned out I was right about both.

You deserve to know why you or your teammates have been laid off

I remember, in slow motion, watching my manager walk up to my section of the office and calmly point toward the two women sitting to my left. He then reached out and tapped another woman and a man, asking them all to come to the main conference room. Another leader quickly approached, gathering my one, remaining colleague.

I was the only one left sitting there for seconds that seemed more like minutes. Then, my manager passed by again, this time with a group of others on my team who appeared to be heading to a different conference room. “Come with us,” he motioned.

It was in that small conference room, packed in with the remaining members of my team, that our manager spoke. His voice choking on emotion, hands shaking. He apologized for the false pretenses and confessed that any friends and coworkers not in the room would be laid off.

Make sure you’re clear on the why and, most importantly, make sure you believe it. You don’t want to be left to make up your own stories about why.

In my case, he was clear that the layoff had nothing to do with performance, but rather, the company had decided to take a different, more focused, strategic direction with our product and we were mission-critical to deliver on that direction in the next six months.

Today with 15% of Americans unemployed due to the business-altering impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine, you may think you generally know why. It’s the ‘Rona, right? But, I suggest you look a little deeper into the why of your own unique layoff situation.


Photo by Li Yang on Unsplash

It took me about an hour to work through the “why?” around the layoff in my head. “Why them?” I could slowly make out the decisions around each choice:

  • was their skill-set unique, or could it be covered by someone else who could also cover another role?
  • what were they like to work with? Was their approach and work experience a good fit for the new strategy? Was it aligned with the company vision, mission or values?
  • what was the quality of their relationships with their coworkers and managers?
  • were they facilitating lightness and speed in the delivery of our product, our service model, or were they somehow weighing things down?
  • were they compensatorily expensive compared to their value in delivering a new product over the next six months?

You deserve to know why regardless of which side of a layoff you happen to be on. Ask your manager for clarity. Ask their manager. If you have an older, more experienced mentor or someone in your organization you feel safe talking to, utilize this time to reach out to them and share your experience and concerns.

In my case, I generally understood the why behind the tough decisions various leaders had to make to let go of teammates. In your case, you deserve to know why regardless of which side of a layoff or work discharge you happen to be on. Ask your manager for clarity. Ask their manager.

If you have an older, more experienced mentor or someone in your organization you feel safe talking to, utilize this time to reach out to them and share your experience and concerns. When you show up more vulnerably, you just may be met with the additional context or support you need to move through the initial confusion and shock.

Make sure you’re clear on the why and, most importantly, make sure you believe it. If you don’t, clarify further. You don’t want to be left to make up your own stories about why. And, when you find yourself telling a story inside your head, gently notice and redirect yourself to the truth of the why. Our myriad of stories aren’t helpful to us—or our former coworkers—while we allow the visible rapids and their invisible undertow to give way to calmer waters.

Layoff survivor’s guilt


Photo by Bastien Hervé on Unsplash

I woke up alone the following morning, full of both uneasiness and possibility. Choppy headwaters combined with a murky undertow had rushed me out the mouth of what felt like the muddy Mississippi River, heaving me onto some uninhabited island somewhere in the Gulf … or so it felt.

Long before my alarm sounded, my eyes arose from sleep to dart back and forth inside my head. People whom I both respected and admired had been laid off the day before. Why not me?

“When people are laid off there is a sense of powerlessness about the situation, that it is out of their control, and that it is inherently unjust.”

– James Laurence, sociologist and research fellow at the University of Manchester, quoted in The Atlantic Business section: Science Agrees: Being laid off is terrible.

I felt compelled to do something. But what?

Apologize?

Reach out and offer my condolences?

Help in some way?

At the same time, I didn’t want to come across as patronizing or paint my former teammates as victims in need of assistance.

Survivor’s guilt is a common and well-documented response of those left behind in a layoff. And I was deep in it. I could feel the tug of those who’d left. I sensed they wanted answers, probably felt disconnected or devalued regardless of the communication that it wasn’t performance-based.

And, I knew that I couldn’t be supportive of them all, even if we had developed friendships working together. So, I either reached out to some or set a gentle boundary to those who’d reached out. I let them know I cared about them. I let them know that I also was shocked, and I needed time to process what had just happened.

Meeting the fear that comes post-layoff

Where your attention goes, your energy flows

Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash

Bringing awareness to our natural human tendency toward fear-induced reactions to a layoff can help us bring compassion to the part of ourselves trying to strategize change, disappointment and the unknown out of our life.

In the Fall of 2019, the number of U.S. layoffs and terminations crept upwards of 1.8 million according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Job Openings and Labor Turnover Survey.

Compared to those who were employed (either full-time or part-time), roughly 1.4% of the previous year’s workforce were laid off or terminated in 2019.

The unfortunate outcomes of layoffs can be subtle and hard to pinpoint, but are certainly fear-driven. Being aware of our natural human tendency toward fear-induced reactions to a layoff, or involuntary work terminations, can help us bring compassion to the part of ourselves trying to strategize change, disappointment and the unknown out of our work life.

For those remaining in the organization, the very natural, fear-based reactions to a layoff include:

  • heightened job insecurity in anticipation of additional layoffs, risk aversion or paranoia.
  • a focus on politics as a self-preservation strategy.
  • loss of trust in management/the business.
  • uneasiness around the increased job demands on those left behind.
  • role ambiguity for those left behind.

The natural loss of institutional memory after a layoff can also incite fear in those on their team. Remaining employees may feel ungrounded and insecure as they scramble for documentation on the process, approach, login credentials, files, data or access to tools their former teammate used for the work that they’ll now need to learn to use.

Take care using the Hakomi process and its realms of experience

INFOGRAPHIC: How to care for your own experience using Hakomi mindfulness somatic psychotherapy and the realms of experience | Hakomi Method

Post-layoff, the first step to take (after our awareness is brought to the fear we’re feeling) is to acknowledge the feelings of anxiety and insecurity that naturally arise. Name them, or better yet, write down what you’re scared or worried about in a journal.

How to care for your own experience

During a layoff, learn how to mindfully meet all the feelings that bubble up when it feels like the ship is sinking using Hakomi method’s realms of experience.

Time needed: 10 minutes.

Bring mindfulness to what you’re experiencing by:

  1. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down.

    Make sure it’s a safe place where you won’t be interrupted for at least 5-10 minutes.

  2. Sit in a comfortable position.

    Whether on a chair, bed or cushions on the floor. You want to make sure you’re comfortable enough that you won’t be distracted with adjusting your sitting position once you begin, so you can focus your attention on what you’re feeling internally rather than externally.

  3. Close your eyes.

  4. Notice your breathe.

    Start noticing your breath. No need to change it, just follow it for a few breaths.

  5. Scan your body.

    From head to toe or the other way around, just use your attention to sense your body.

  6. Get curious.

    Take notice of what calls your attention: is it a body sensation? The sense of emotion? An image? Words or a message? A movement? An impulse? A longing? A memory?

  7. Stay with what you’re experiencing.

    Deepen your curiosity by staying with what comes up. If it’s a body sensation, notice where it is in your body. Notice the qualities of the sensation: is it uncomfortable or tense? Warm or cool? Big or small? Does it have a shape? A color? If it had a voice, what would it say? What does it want you to know? What does it need?

  8. Write it down.

    When you’ve stayed with it as long as you can, maintaining curiosity, gently acknowledge what you’ve discovered and begin to come out of mindfulness by noticing the sounds, smells or sensations in the room around you. You can wiggle your toes or fingers and gently open your eyes to come back into the room. Then, grab a journal and write down what you’ve discovered.

You can do this Hakomi process-inspired exercise throughout the day whenever you notice these sensations, emotions, messages, images, etc. come up in your body.

Take loving action

While this Hakomi process-inspired exercise gives you clarity about what you’re fearing and why; getting it down on paper can help you move into loving external action.

Make a point to take any realistic actions you can on your behalf.

  • Reviewing what you’ve written down, can you sense or identify what each part of you needs? What does it want you to know? Is there an impulse that comes up that might be helpful for that part? If you were your own best friend, teacher or loving parent, what would you do for this part of yourself to calm it, show it you care or meet its need?
  • Again, write it down.

Then, make a point to take any realistic actions you can on your behalf—whether that means finding ways to comfort yourself or talking with someone who can offer perspective, space or support. Maybe your loving action looks like addressing your manager at work and letting them know what information or support you need to feel more at ease.

Taking loving action on behalf of ourselves and our needs is being our own advocate. By practicing this approach over time, you’ll find a new source of personal power, ease and resiliency within yourself that you’ll come to enjoy.

Want to recover more quickly after a layoff or termination?

Curious to work with someone who can help you explore the why and what? And get clear on the how of getting back up again more resilient than before? Want guidance on ways to use your down-time to feed your soul’s work and call in what wants to happen in your career? Schedule time for a Consultation or a ReConnection™ session with me.

Enjoyed this content?

Like this article below and Follow Conscious Content on Facebook. Or, Follow me on LinkedIn at Conscious Content.

Sadhana

Why sadhana is key for finding purpose in your work

To create work and a life that is a full reflection of your why, practice “being to become” through your own daily work sadhana.

What is sadhana?

The practice of “sādhanā” is less woo-woo than it is a practical, action-oriented and time-tested approach for reconnecting ourselves to our why. For the business person, or anyone who spends even 10 percent (part-time equivalent) of their month working, approaching work through the lens of sadhana has the capacity to create deep and lasting change in your personal and work life.

The practice of sadhana dates back more than five thousand years in Ayurveda, an ancient science of long life, and is a fundamental component of spiritual and self growth—from Buddhism to Jewish and Christian Mysticism to Vedism and modern-day Hinduism and New Ageism. 

Sadhana is practiced, arguably, on every continent around the globe as an organic component of indigenous practices, with a heavy concentration in countries where Buddhism, Vedism and Hinduism are the primary spiritual schools of thought, including India, China, and the whole of Asia.

The word “sādhanā” originated from sanskrit, one of the oldest languages in the world, appearing first in written script around the second millennium (two thousand) B.C. And, the basic principles of which inform modern computer languages, according to India Today.

So, why has some form of sadhana permeated nearly every spiritual school of thought and tradition so widely and for so long? And how can incorporating sadhana into your life transform your work?

“Once awareness touches an energy, it begins to transmute.”
– Vanessa Stone

Because sadhana works.

Knowing the innate power in sadhana, the first Ayurvedic school in the US, Wise Earth School of Ayurveda, has built its foundation on it. Sadhana is one of the school’s cardinal philosophies, and is defined as a “sacred practice: aligning every activity in accord with nature’s rhythms.”

Sadhguru, founder of Isha Yoga Center and Foundation, looks at sadhana as a nurturing of possibility in his article on The What and Why of Sadhana: “When we say sadhana … we are talking about using every aspect of life—both internal and external—so that it is a continuous nurturing for your life. Because the very nature of a human being is such, unless there is some dynamism, some movement in his life towards betterment within and outside of himself, he will feel frustrated. He has to keep moving to a newer and newer possibility. Sadhana … facilitates that.”

“Begin to look at everything as a tool for your own beingness. Reconnect with what’s already here.”

How is Sadhana transformative?

Sadhana practice has the power to impact a human on the mental, emotional and physiological levels in subtle ways that create long-lasting change.

Buddhism views sadhana as a practice of actualizing what’s in the imagination. In more Western terms, it can be viewed as the ultimate cognitive-behavioral goal-setting and manifestation technique of the ancients.

Combining a unique set of activities that
1) address one’s internal state, like mindfulness meditation or Hakomi therapy with
2) physical ritual, like breathing, song and chanting, hand movements and body postures

Sadhana helps one to “set” newly formed clay molds (of ideas, feelings and intentions) into solid forms through consistent and committed practice.

“[E]xternal ritual and internal sādhanā form an indistinguishable whole,” writes prominent Norwegian historian of religion, Per Kværne. That wholeness begins to feel like a wholeness of being, which puts one daily on the path to becoming that which they wish to actualize from their imagination.

Vision Cartographer and visionary consultant, Martine Holston, eloquently describes her experience with the power of a 40-day sadhana practice in her article for Yoga Tree:

“A 40-day practice is an invitation. By committing to doing something every day for 40 days, you turn a magnifying glass on your avoidance, procrastination, and self-deception strategies. By doing the practice in spite of those strategies, you invite a new way of dealing with with challenges and emotions. You see patterns of behavior and thinking that were unconscious before. The commitment to yourself and your growth both invites lessons and support for your learning. You will see resources in people, places, and things you didn’t see before. And the lessons may come from places other than your practice – just so you can really learn them.”

Physiological, emotional and mental impacts of sadhana

Maybe you’ve heard that a meditation practice can reduce stress, relax the body or enhance the senses. Neuroscientist, Sara Lazar, put anecdotal claims of meditation and sadhana, like these, to the test using the rigor of Western scientific method. Lazar practices Neuroscience at both Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital.

What she found in her first study on meditation confirmed not only sensory enhancement, but much more. Lazar compared long-term Insight meditators versus a control group. The 20 Insight meditation participants “were not monks, but rather typical Western meditation practitioners who incorporate their practice into a daily routine involving career, family, friends and outside interests,” describes the study’s author manuscript published by the National Center for Biotechnology. Just another way to describe sadhana, really.

The study showed that meditation has the ability to rebuild the brain’s grey matter in two month’s time. “Long-term meditators have an increased amount of gray matter in the insula and sensory regions, the auditory and sensory cortex. Which makes sense. When you’re mindful, you’re paying attention to your breathing, to sounds, to the present moment experience, and shutting cognition down. It stands to reason your senses would be enhanced,” describes Lazar in an interview with the Washington Post.

She goes on to describe in more detail her findings, including “… differences in brain volume after eight weeks in five different regions in the brains of the two groups. In the group that learned meditation, we found thickening in four regions:

  1. The primary difference, we found in the posterior cingulate, which is involved in mind wandering, and self-relevance.
  2. The left hippocampus, which assists in learning, cognition, memory and emotional regulation.
  3. The temporoparietal junction, or TPJ, which is associated with perspective taking, empathy and compassion.
  4. An area of the brain stem called the Pons, where a lot of regulatory neurotransmitters are produced.

The amygdala, the fight or flight part of the brain which is important for anxiety, fear and stress in general. That area got smaller in the group that went through the mindfulness-based stress reduction program.

The change in the amygdala was also correlated to a reduction in stress levels,” explains Lazar.

via GIPHY

Other anecdotal impacts of meditation, and sadhana practice, include calming of the rapid-fire thoughts that many of us experience in our work lives. Sadhana can be a tool for teaching focus and practicing attention for those struggling with ADHD. And, sadhana can aid in refocusing ruminating thoughts, and in more severe cases, with obsessive or intrusive thought patterns.

According to Harvard University’s health blog, Psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital’s Center for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress Disorders and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard’s Medical School, Dr. Elizabeth Hoge, “found that a mindfulness-based stress reduction program helped quell anxiety symptoms in people with generalized anxiety disorder, a condition marked by hard-to-control worries, poor sleep and irritability.”

How do I create work Sadhana?

Creating your sadhana practice is simple, it’s the commitment, the consistency and the focus that will likely test you.

“Everything can be sadhana. The way you eat, the way you sit, the way you stand, the way you breathe, the way you conduct your body, mind and your energies and emotions—this is sadhana. Sadhana does not mean any specific kind of activity, sadhana means you are using everything as a tool for your well being,” says Sadhguru, founder of Isha Yoga Center and Foundation.

Conscious Content’s best advice is to keep it simple and build from there. This isn’t a race. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be right now. As soon as anything feels overwhelming or prohibitive, it can surely be simplified.

Some simple ways to initiate work sadhana:

PRACTICE/ Cyclical breath alignment
HOW/ Upon waking in the morning, notice which of your nostrils you can more easily breathe from. Take a finger and close one nostril, breathing in and exhaling through it and noticing the strength of the movement of air. You can place the other hand under your breathe to feel the sensation of the strength of breathe there too. Next, try the other nostril. If your left nostril has a stronger, clearer breathe, take note. That’s the lunar side of your body. Do the same for your right nostril and notice the strength and clarity of breathe there. That’s the solar side of your body. Take a mental note of which is stronger and how you feel (are you energetic and ready to take on the day? do you want to go back to bed?).
WHY IT WORKS/ There are daily rhythms and cycles that modern humans have come to take for granted. For example, the morning is the beginning of the solar cycle (guided by the sun), and the evening ushers in the lunar cycle (guided by the moon). This gently mindful breathe practice helps you to bring awareness to realigning your body with the subtle cycles that guide the day and the night. You want to play opposites with these cycles to create balance, so look for a stronger, more clear breathe in the left nostril in the morning, and in the right nostril in the evening before bed. Notice over time how impactful this simple breathe alignment can be for you. Notice what it’s like to feel connected to larger rhythms and cycles through your own body.
PRACTICE/ Body mindfulness
HOW/ Try to sit quietly, eyes closed. With your own attention focused inward, scan you entire body from head to toe. Notice what’s there. Discomfort? Tightness? Relaxation? A sense of ease? Worry? Excitement? Anything. You’re job is just to notice. No need to understand or make meaning of what you feel. No need to fix or make sense of. Just notice what is. And, keep noticing that for 1-3 minutes daily. Then open your eyes and resume your day.
WHY IT WORKS/ Simple presence is the first step to building intimacy with oneself. Taking time, daily, to turn your attention from those around you and focus it inward toward yourself is a subtle act of presence and care. Your body will notice and respond with a sense of feeling cared for and about. 
PRACTICE/ Intentional contemplation
HOW/ Try to sit quietly and uninterrupted. Contemplate for 5 minutes in the morning on your intention for the day. What do you want this day to be like? What do you want to create or get out of this day? Distill your intention down to a word, a feeling or something you can simply sense. Sit with that word and feel what it might feel like if that were true. Feel the feeling and sense how your day might look if your intention were already reality. Now, before bed, dedicate 5 minutes of your evening to contemplate what you accomplished in your day today, or review three things you need to complete for tomorrow.
WHY IT WORKS/ Contemplation is a brother to meditation. It’s a practice that will begin to get you in the space to quiet down, settle in and focus your attention on creating what you desire and celebrating your success. Going over your brief to do list will help settle your mind and nervous system before bed so you can get more restful sleep, knowing you’ve already got your next steps for tomorrow. Starting to work with purpose begins here.
PRACTICE/ H’opopono
HOW/ A Hawaiian self compassion practice, H’opopono is the simple act of stopping to offer empathy, love and gratitude to anything in your day that feels uncomfortable. It can be used for nearly anything: from a physical boo-boo to a scare, a hurt, surprise or upset that comes to you in your day. Or even and especially when you notice a judgement or criticism that arises within you about yourself or another. Simply stop in the moment the discomfort occurs, place your hand on your heart and quietly say to yourself, “I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you.”
WHY IT WORKS/ Compassion is a direct line to call in space and safety for anything that comes your way in a day. When there’s space and safety to be anything at any given time, you can start to relax and really be yourself. Eventually, this compassionate empathy begins to extend outside of yourself to those around you. Watch as your self-acceptance increases along with your acceptance of what is, and your acceptance of others.

via GIPHY

How do I know when I’m practicing work Sadhana?

If you’ve ever had a dream or goal or skill you wished you had (and do have now), can you recall how you created it in your life? You likely started by knowing that was something you wished for, there may have been an internal feeling of willingness and openness. You may have begun by thinking about it a lot, followed by envisioning what life would be like if it were true. While visualizing you likely imagined the feeling in your body of what it’d be like if it were true and here now.

And, along the way you likely encountered challenges: critical voices internal and external, comparisons, judgements about your ability or worthiness, distractions, procrastination. You may have even questioned if you were capable of making it happen or living up to the vision you’d imagined. But despite everything above, you continued on. You kept taking small actions either daily or weekly or monthly. You did the thing in small titrations–the art, the writing, the project, you bought the house in the amazing location, you created the relationship you wanted. But, you never stopped at the wishing and the thinking about it. You moved on, next step, next step, and it evolved continually and consistently until one day it was physically here and you could touch it or do it or were it.

This is what I call “being to become.”

“… Sadhana is self enrichment. It is not something which is done to please somebody or gain something. Sadhana is a personal process in which you bring out your best.”
– Yogi Bhajan

The following can be used like a checklist and gentle reminder of the “being to become” mindset to cultivate as you establish your own unique work sadhana. If you’re encountering these things, you’re in the thick of a sadhana practice. Just remember—it’s all part of the process.

Be willing

Ground zero in starting to create any new thing you want in your life is a willingness to speak it, to recognize it, and to receive it when it’s offered to you. Start by speaking aloud once a day or jotting in your journal your willingness to create work sadhana in your life. What might your life look like if what you want to create were already here? Would you relax? Would you have more meaningful relationships? How? Would you feel respected and heard? Sit with this and imagine how your life might change and how it might change how you feel in your life. Speak. Jot. Go on!

Don’t beat yourself up

Be gentle with yourself. Work sadhana practice is not another reason to beat yourself up about what you’re not accomplishing or doing “right.” Self-judgement and self-criticism will surely be the first aspects of your inner bandwagon to arrive and have a go at this new thing you want to incorporate into your life. Notice them and what they say. Notice how their comments impact your body.

And when you notice comparison has arrived, greet her and offer her a hand to help her step down off your inner bandwagon. Get to know the ways she compares you to others. Get familiar with how you’re feeling when you’re comparing. And learn to be the kind voice of reason who steps in amidst all of the, “but he did this’s” and “she’s accomplished that’s” and remind everyone on the inner bandwagon that your story is unique, incomparable. And, you’re willing to spend the time it takes to know the unique ways in which you and you alone do it. After all, that is what this is about.

Commit to yourself

Commitment isn’t just offered, it’s cultivated. And, anything worth having in life was, at one time, committed to—whether that be a love, a child or a dream. Offer the same level of commitment to yourself over and over again. That brings us to the need to …

Exercise consistency

Like a muscle—move it. Keep moving it at the same time each day. The same days each week. Create a reminder, or several, for yourself so you can work your consistency out over time. What you’ll end up with is a strong habit that will serve you well.

Foster focus

And notice what gets in the way of focus while you’re doing it. Light a candle and simply gaze at its flame. Write this down on a post-it note and plaster it anywhere you tend to lose focus from your work sadhana:

F.O.C.U.S

Follow
One
Course
Until
Success

Encourage creativity

When in doubt, get creative. This is your process, and what works for you will be absolutely unique to you. Feel it out. Adjust it. Try again. Experiment.


Now, ask yourself:

What would your work look like if you practiced work sadhana?
How might your work relationships be impacted?
Your relationship with yourself?

Want to explore creating a work sadhana of your own?

Curious to work with someone who can help you explore work sadhana that deepens your relationship to yourself, your coworkers and your work in the world? Schedule time for a Consultation or a ReConnection™ session with me.

Enjoyed this content?

Like this article below and Follow me on LinkedIn at Conscious Content.
Or Follow Conscious Content on Facebook.

The Sensitivity Cycle

3 signs your mind needs healthy rest

6 Comments

Scrolling repetitively through social media feeds, losing your patience, feeling judgemental and perfectionistic or simply overwhelmed, but too anxious to rest. These are early indicators that you may have a defense barrier to completion.


The signs of a barrier

Most of us find ourselves doing these things in fleeting moments throughout our work day: scrolling repetitively through social media feeds without really paying attention. Losing patience with ourselves, colleagues, friends and family about things we’ll forget in a day or so. Feeling judgemental about our own or other’s responses, actions or job performance, allowing little room for error. Or simply overwhelmed, but too anxious to actually sit down, take a breathe or take a break.

The primary signs that your mind needs a rest include:

  1. Tuning out
  2. Impatient, irritated or judging
  3. Sense of overwhelm

But even more, these signs are all early indicators that you may have a defense barrier to completion.

Photo by Mitchel Lensink on Unsplash

How can I tell I have a barrier?

Ask yourself: are these experiences fleeting for you? Or are they starting to impact your work and personal life?

Let’s visualize some example use cases to help clarify behaviors that are impacting your work and personal life versus just fleeting behaviors:

Co-workers, friends, children and romantic partners have started to comment about your time spent on your phone. You have your phone with you at all times—from the toilet to the dinner table—and you notice an unexplained loss of minutes and hours while scrolling blankly through your phone. The object of your tuning out could also be a television, cocktails or beers or other substances that create distance between you and the racing feeling in your mind.

You’re noticing a critical voice in your head more frequently, and you may even speak the words aloud: “Geez, nice move, idiot.” Or, “did you REALLY have to drop that, again?!?! Ugh.” Losing patience with others typically starts with a loss of patience, and grace, for ourselves.

Feeling judgemental and perfectionistic, no one else at work—or at home—can “do it the right way.” So, you either end up re-doing a task or not allowing others to help you. You’re cutting off collaboration and delegation because you frequently believe others can’t complete a task to your expectations.

You frequently have so many things to do weighing on your mind, that you’re starting to feel a sense of overwhelm—like they’ll never get done. But, instead of stopping and doing something to calm your thoughts or nerves, you refuse to sit down, lie down, take a walk or even take a few deep breathes for fear that all of the burdens will come crashing down upon you.

Photo by Xavier Sotomayor on Unsplash

What’s a defense barrier to completion?

So, the above examples sound like you, a co-worker, or someone you know. But, what does it mean to have a defense barrier to completion and why should anyone care?

“The emergence of a defense is related to existential needs, which were poorly met, often early in life. These core life issues, show up as typical barriers within a … process,” writes Jaci Hull in the first edition comprehensive guide to Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy.

The process being referred to is a four-stage cycle of human experience the founder of Hakomi method, Ron Kurtz, conceptualized in order to provide “a theoretical map of optimal life functioning emphasizing the need for sensitivity to one’s internal experience in relation to four essential stages.”

INFOGRAPHIC: The Sensitivity Cycle | Stages of Experience | Hakomi Method

The four stages create a cycle that Kurtz terms The Sensitivity Cycle, “which suggests that for a satisfying life an individual needs to:

  1. (Awareness / Clarity) be aware of, or sensitive to, one’s own essential situations and needs,
  2. (Effective Action) take appropriate action based on this clarity,
  3. (Satisfaction) experience satisfaction as a result of successful action, and
  4. (Healthy Rest / Relaxation or Completion) be able to rest and regenerate in order to become aware and clear about what is needed next (start over at Step 1).”

But, “when sensitivity is impeded via a barrier, the loop is either stalled or becomes a shallow or unsatisfying journey,” describes Kurtz in his 1990 book on Hakomi Method. “The sensitivity cycle is a process and barriers are its interruptions.”

Kurtz describes a barrier as a habitual way we block increases to sensitivity in each stage of the cycle. And what might blocking this look like? Let’s compare a healthy rest / relaxation stage to one that involves a barrier to completion:

INFOGRAPHIC: The Sensitivity Cycle | Stages of Experience – Healthy Rest and Barrier to Completion | Hakomi Method

Easing into healthy rest

If you’re feeling stuck, struggling with a barrier to completion of your own, a simple first step is getting out of your head and coming back into your body. The simplest way to practice reconnecting with your own body is to breathe mindfully. Next, try scanning your body for sensations like tightness or pain. Begin to notice the microcosm of sensation within yourself.

For those who want to connect even more deeply, begin noticing the connection of the micro to the macro. The Sensitivity Cycle is a reflection of the macrocosm, or larger cycles and rhythms of the planet. In the norther hemisphere, we are just moving out of the satisfaction stage, which is symbolized by Autumn, the harvest, the waning gibbous moon, the color red.

As we move into the rest stage (symbolized by Winter, repose, the new moon, the color white), it’s the perfect time to understand where we are in relation to The Sensitivity Cycle and our connection to the macro cycles of life including:

The Four Directions: East, South, West, North

The Four Seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter

The Four Stages of Life: Birth, Youth, Adult, Death

The Four Times of Day: Sunrise, Noon, Sunset, Midnight

The Four Elements of Life: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind

The Heavenly Beings: Sun, Moon, Earth, Stars

– Jamie Oxendine, Native American Liaison and Education Consultant for Ohio University and author of “Native American Medicine Wheel Comparison to Life.”


Now, ask yourself:

What is preventing you from resting?
What stops you from completing things in your life?
What can’t you consistently let go of?

Want to explore a healthy resting phase, or your own barriers to completion?

Curious to work with someone who can help you explore where you are in The Sensitivity Cycle? Want guidance on getting familiar with your relationship with you, your barriers and how you organize the phases of your experience? Schedule time for a Consultation or a ReConnection™ session with me.

Enjoyed this content?

Like this article below and Follow me on LinkedIn at Conscious Content.
Or Follow Conscious Content on Facebook.

Sadhana

Why business as usual is dying

2 Comments

While businesses built on impersonal left brained frameworks of separation, scarcity and inauthenticity feel like the modern-day norm, they’re leaning—ever-more structurally unstable—as their foundational human element is fast crumbling under their weight.

Business as usual = framework for failure

The first sign you’re in a business as usual culture? You wake up stiff.

Then, at work you begin to notice your own or others’ “tightly-crossed arms and legs, taut facial muscles, and locked jaws,” reflecting a defensive attitude. “They walk fast, talk fast, eat fast, and drink copious amounts of coffee just to keep going,” writes Barbara Killinger Ph.D. and author of “The Workaholics“ on Psychology Today.

These are the first individual and cultural signs of separation, or “the trance of unworthiness” as Tara Brach, Ph.D. refers to it in her clinical psychology and mindfulness work on radical self acceptance. It begins with a literal separation from the body, the self, through movements and structural postures that show physical stress and contraction. It exudes more subtly and insidiously as separation from coworkers through the defensive, competitive and inflexible attitude it begins to physically embody—giving off those exact nonverbal cues to others. Signals to others to hurry up or be left behind, not waste my time, push through at the expense of personal discomfort, or even at the expense of my teammates’ wellbeing.

What these body signals are really expressing is an attempt to protect oneself from the onslaught of continual self betrayal. Protect. Control. Hold your ground. Hold on tight so you don’t fall down or get run over by the competition.

Lifestyle let down

You remember reading the line “promotes work/life balance” under the list of cultural benefits of your organization, but what you see and experience daily is in stark contrast. Somehow the “flexible work schedule” didn’t translate to your manager’s style, or your particular team, project or role.

In a grasping attempt at dealing with the physical, mental and emotional stress caused by one’s work environment, work relationships, and perceived work responsibilities, boundaries wear thin, becoming permeable. Like a leaky gut, the healthy separations between focused work time and personal time begin to bleed into one another, causing a whole slew of undigested materials to ooze out, eventually impacting the whole system’s function.

Suddenly, lifestyle choices that are self-harmful become normalized: from the postural impacts discussed above to inattentive dietary choices, managing energy levels through subtle substance abuse, and environmental enslavement.

The quality of meals regresses. In an attempt to control waning energy levels while choked for time, food choices turn away nourishment and focus their addictive attention on what will have the quickest impact in the moment: caffeine highs for focus, sugar highs for sociability, alcoholic sedation of an overstressed nervous system, laboratory-flavored refined fats, salts and over-processed non-foods that are quick-to-prep and flavorfully formulated to mask the lack of … well, actual food in them. Nourishment suffers. Over time, meals are missed entirely.

Lack of “effective workplaces designed to enable collaboration without sacrificing employees’ ability to focus” (2013 study Gensler’s Workplace Index) and inconsistent opportunities to find a focused workspace or opt to work from home further fragment worker attention.

Overall, self care becomes marginalized in this type of business as usual culture. Eventually permeable boundaries combine with ill health, waning energy levels and fragmented focus to create a crash-and-burn-out cocktail that leads some to either emotionally, mentally or physically collapse under the weight.

In a 2000 survey by Integra workers reported that:

  • 62% routinely find that they end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% reported stressed-out eyes, 38% complained of hurting hands and 34% reported difficulty in sleeping because they were too stressed-out
  • 12% had called in sick because of job stress
  • Over half said they often spend 12-hour days on work related duties and an equal number frequently skip lunch because of the stress of job demands

And The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) reported the following on job stress’s relation to mental and physical burnout:

  • 26 percent of workers said they were “often or very often burned out or stressed by their work”
  • Job stress is more strongly associated with health complaints than financial or family problems

These are sure signs of grasping, which rely on “strain, push and worry as our only hope to avert disaster,” writes Victoria Castle in her book “The Trance of Scarcity.”

Business as usual head games

“Out-of-touch with their body because the obsessional left brain Thinking function is dominant and their right brain Feeling function is repressed,” what she terms as workaholics “remain unaware of the increase in the amount of adrenalin that is being pumped into their body,” writes Killinger, author of “The Workaholic Breakdown – The Loss of Health“. Killinger, who specializes her therapy practice on Workaholism, refers to those with this behavior as “the respectable addicts.”

In this sort of physical and mental environment, the appearance of busyness suddenly becomes an office-wide badge of honor or, as Silvia Bellezza, assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School, and co-author of the research paper “Conspicuous Consumption of Time” puts it: busyness and lack of leisure time have become a status symbol. Meanwhile, a lack of presence in group meetings, with others, and operating from a constant “state-of-emergency” are further culturally normalized.

You’ve likely done it yourself in the past, or watched co-workers do it time and again. When prompted to engage in a conversation at work that could potentially deepen the relationship or connection between two co-workers the response is something like, “Things are good, just buried in work.” End connection.

via GIPHY

“Employees over age 35 are twice as likely to be unhappy at work as millennials,” says Bloomberg, from a survey by Happiness Works/Robert Half UK. The key ingredients for employee happiness, from the same survey, turned out to be (in ranking order of highest to lowest importance, with only eight percentage points between the top and bottom ranked ingredients): pride, fairness and respect, feeling appreciated, accomplishment and freedom.

In contrast to the qualities that make employees happy, you may notice some of your office conversations are based only in complaints. Or, even a sense of unconscious mental and emotional “dumping” as co-workers caught up in ceaselessly busy emergency-management grasp for ground and validation with others that they are okay. The only way they can imagine to rid themselves of the incessant pressure dumped upon them being to dump piles of it all around themselves on whoever else will listen.

In group meetings people show up late, trickling in. Most are on their phones or laptops. Some proud to feel important, valued, yet appearing frazzled, distractedly entering and exiting to address emergency clients or deadlines. Some hungry but haven’t eaten. Some, never even show up— lost, hiding and overwhelmed somewhere in the office. Very few who are physically present in the meeting room even look one another in the eye. Instead, the group appears as talking heads with dilated pupils focused intently on glowing screens.

Relationship starvation

In a business as usual culture, “self-centeredness replaces empathy, and intolerance destroys compassion.” One “neglects or refuses to acknowledge the rights and dignity of others. Trust and respect are pillared as a hurry-hurry, rush-rush attitude leaves little time for working things out together and solving unfinished problems, or even gaining insight into another’s needs and wishes,” explains Killinger in her article on the workaholic culture and the loss of empathy and compassion.

A former colleague recently shared her insecurities about managing a new client project she’d been placed on. Her attempts at communication with the new project lead weren’t getting her anywhere, and so she and the team felt both gagged and frozen, for fear they may misspeak on any false promises made to the client. The project schedule and approach seemed both unclear and completely unrealistic given the timeline and, especially given, that the company had positioned itself as an expert to their client on a tool they hadn’t yet used.

So the relationship was initiated on a lie, I observed internally, and then asked my colleague aloud, “What happens when you begin a new relationship on a lie?”

via GIPHY

And almost every internet-searchable relationship article or study seems to agree that building trust—the opposite of a lie—is the foundational element of cultivating healthy relationship. In therapies that deeply study relationship, like Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy, or Hakomi method, great emphasis is placed on building relationship with self and other. The two foundational ingredients of building relationship: to embody a state of loving presence and to relate to one another from a place of mindfulness. Hakomi method takes it a step further, using trust-building communication techniques like tracking, noticing the present felt experience of another, and making contact, acknowledging that present felt sense, as the basis for creating that trust relationship gently, over time.

Trust is also one of the two pillars that make up the “weight bearing walls” of the Sound Relationship House, a concept from The Gottman Institute’s approach to relationship development. “Trust forms the basis for the overall stability of a relationship,” writes Certified Gottman Therapist, Zach Brittle, LMHC.

The Taoist view, a heavy influencer of Hakomi method, “differentiates between “authentic” and “oppressive” structures in relationships and within the self,” explains Cynthia Jaffe in her article on transcending duality in relationship. “In an oppressive structure we  perceive ourselves as being controlled externally. In an authentic structure we may more easily perceive ourselves as being controlled internally.”

“In a very short time, loving presence can establish … a sense of being safe, cared for, heard, and understood.”
– Ron Kurtz, founder of the Hakomi Institute, from “Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theory and Practice”

So, why doesn’t bypassing the trust-building part work in establishing business relationships?

“Building trust is the foundation of every peace negotiation, every business collaboration and every truly meaningful endeavour,” writes Margie Warrell, Forbes contributor, author and women’s leadership coach in her Forbes article “How To Build High-Trust Relationships.”

“… without trust, influence wanes, intimacy erodes, relationships crumble, careers derail, organizations fail to prosper (and ultimately, also crumble) and, in short, nothing much works. Wherever trust is missing, opportunity is lost. Opportunity to collaborate, exert influence, deepen intimacy, build understanding, resolve conflict, expand peace and succeed at the very things that matter most—individually and collectively.”

Office fiefdom v. freedom

This deeply ingrained trust breakdown erodes away the very foundations of organizations operating from a business as usual mindset. Erosion often takes the form of underprepared managers who use scare tactics to mobilize teams into emergency response.

Rather than setting realistic boundaries with clients and customers, allowing the necessary time to provide estimates of effort, realistic cost or deliver appropriate services or products, rulers of office fiefdoms rule from a place of deep distrust—of their own intentions, their team’s and their client’s intentions. As a result, teams are “always on” as an expectation of boundarylessness rolls downhill from group manager, to team manager to worker and gets spread around the team with looks of apology and words of “no choice. They need it now.”

These same middle managers, insecure and often inexperienced in group behavior dynamics, yet imagining they should appear as if they know it all, force individuals and entire teams to use outdated tools, follow inefficient processes or commute into offices—against the flow of traffic, time and the energy levels of their employees—in an attempt to feel a sense of control of the output for which they imagine they’re responsible.

“Leaders who cannot trust themselves enough to hire people they can trust will always revert to power and control mechanisms, including forcing people to drive a car or take a train to work every day so that their supervisors can keep an eye on them,” explains Liz Ryan, Forbes contributing writer and author of “Reinvention Roadmap: Break the Rules to Get the Job You Want and Career You Deserve.”

Research tells us implicitly that these micro-managing control tactics don’t work, and have serious impacts to an employee’s internal emotional and mental health, and their creativity and productivity.

Hundreds of employees across companies kept daily journals that a Harvard professor and a psychologist poured over—twelve thousand diary entries in total. What they found is that insecure micro-management “stifles creativity and productivity in the long run.”

“When people lack the autonomy, information, and expert help they need to make progress, their thoughts, feelings, and drives take a downward turn—resulting in pedestrian ideas and lackluster output,” writes the researchers, who later summarized their findings in a co-authored book, “The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work.”

“Managers panic when they see performance lagging, which leads them to hover over subordinates’ shoulders even more intrusively and criticize them even more harshly—which engenders even worse inner work life.”

This endless, painful looping is a tell-tale sign that a middle manager is operating from a belief of scarcity—or as Castle, “Trance of Scarcity” author defines it: “the unexamined predisposition that lack, struggle, and separation are our defining reality.”

Comparatively, 12 years of research on investment bankers done by University of Pennsylvania Professor, Alexandra Michel, showed that the simple offer of autonomy—in the form of management giving employees control over their own work schedule—increased not only motivation, but also productivity and quality.

A lost pause

Is this feeling familiar?

*Deep breathe*

via GIPHY

What can employees of business as usual companies, or leaders of companies with a business as usual mindset do? And, why should they even do anything?

“… the most effective way to start is to pause. With a machine, hitting the pause button stops the action. But if you’re a human being, that’s when you start. You pause to make sense of your situation and to reconnect with your deepest beliefs.” writes Dov Seidman, author of “HOW: Why HOW We Do Anything Means Everything.”

“For business leaders, you pause to consider the fundamental issues that led your company down its current path and to its present challenges. Building trust is not just a matter of practices and policies. It requires getting in touch with your humanity. And when a business leader takes the necessary steps to do that, such behavior can be broadcast as an example for the entire organization to emulate,” explains Seidman, who’s been named as one of the “Top 60 Global Thinkers of the Last Decade” by “The Economic Times.”

And when you take this pause, this deeper breathe, what happens? In the moment you pause, you’re allowing the mind, the emotions, the body’s nervous system to rest. You’re offering yourself a momentary space of nourishment in which different bodily sensations can be noticed, different emotions witnessed and, ultimately, different mental-emotional possibilities considered.

Because why? Because “we (and potentially everyone) are in the people business,” explains Chairman and CEO, David K. Williams. No matter if you sell a service or a product or a way of living. Trusting relationships are the most valuable business commodity, Williams emphasizes, they are non-negotiable qualities of a healthy organization.

Trusting the truth

“To rebuild the trustworthiness and reputation of your business, you must trust people with the truth, engage in candid conversations about critical issues, and recognize the capacity people have for doing the right thing,” posits Seidman.

To some, this may sound daunting. Scary even. For companies operating from a business as usual mindset it can feel impossible. How do you practice trusting others with the truth when the organizational culture is built around inauthenticity? (Which looks like employees, managers and leaders who are closely “managing experience” so the truth gets buried under what everyone has silently agreed is culturally acceptable to share, do or be?)

It still starts inside the pause.

The pause is a moment of building trust with yourself, first. Even when the pressure feels overwhelming, this tiny pause to rest, to acknowledge your own experience can offer you the opportunity to open up to entirely new possibilities. Possibilities which can translate into new actions, new perspectives, approaches and habitual behaviors.

What’s there in that pause can be so simple and at the same time some of the richest awareness you’ve encountered of the landscape inside of you. This mindful moment you’re allowing yourself may show up as an awareness of blankness, body tensions or discomforts, as images, memories, words or even full messages. Gently take note of what comes up for you during this mindful pause.

When was the last time you paused amidst the overwhelm of your work day? Or, do you have pauses already built into your day, and what do those look like? Tell us about how you pause (or don’t) in the comments below.


Need to practice your pause?

Want to work together with someone who can hold what comes up for you in your pause? Want guidance on getting familiar with your relationship with you? Schedule time for a Consultation or a ReConnection™ session with me.

Enjoyed this content?

Like this article below and Follow me on LinkedIn at Conscious Content.
Or Follow Conscious Content on Facebook.

Mindfulness for work that serves the greater collective good.

Exit mobile version
%%footer%%